Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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