this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
