i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
