So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
4 words: hood of his car
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
