A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
