I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
