did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
