Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My vagina just clenched in fear
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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