Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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