How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
