Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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