Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
