theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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