I showed him my bush... on skype.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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