is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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