Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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