My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize