And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
