Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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