i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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