Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
