He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
