when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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