you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
