Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
