You really coming over, don't trick.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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