As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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