I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You pole danced in your parka.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This is my gift to your gina
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
