is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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