She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
