Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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