It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
