I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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