So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
