She is in my trunk
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
