dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this will be a night to untag.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
