Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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