oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
