I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
