i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
