3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
