I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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