I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
