it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
as a side note pls kill me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
