Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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