She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
