Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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