feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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