A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize