All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
