On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
FUCK WHALES
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
send nudes
from the living room?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
