but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
