Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
