So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
