Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So vagazzling was a success
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
