Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
