Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
