I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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