I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
only you would photoshop your dick
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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