Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
