we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
