Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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