i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
