apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
