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• (214): View more from Texas

  Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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• (631): View more from New York

  If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I felt guilty, it was so good!

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...

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• (305): View more from Florida

  And then my night got REAL pukey

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• (805): View more from California

  All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....

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