check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
this beer tastes like vomit already
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
