Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
