I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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