If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
