I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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